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dear asshole,
if you're going to puke in public, do it in the street, or go to one of the trash cans that are every ten feet or so downtown. Thanks for creating a biohazard along our entire sidewalk. I especially liked the part where some of your puke got on the morning paper. I really hope you puked in your bed when you finally passed out, and that your hair smells like it for a month.

kisses, but not until you brush your teeth a few hundred times,
stewart