Dr. Hapgood, your cruise director (hapgood) wrote,
Dr. Hapgood, your cruise director
hapgood

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Been down this road before (swedishfrogs isn't the only one who can quote Chess(grin))

For long time fans of the show, you may remember my posts about Ben, the number three love of my life. For those new to the program, check out this post for some info. This is a friends only entry, so if you aren't on my friends list, you'll have to ask to see it, and I'll email it to you (my roomates cannot see it). Well, he ships out on December 3rd finally, so he is here for the weekend. Anyway, my point . . .

A few months ago, I realized that I don't love him anymore, that the crush had finally passed. Now I feel like he's a complete stranger, like the only thing I knew about him was that I loved him so hard. Part of me doesn't want to rediscover a friendship with him; I'm afraid to fall in love with him again. Dammit, I have no right to feel this way.

It doesn't help that he was wearing a skin tight bar shirt when I got home. He's lost weight, but he still looks good.
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