I did the unthinkable. I cried in staff meeting.
I've gone through so many emotions over our scheduling process, from frustration, through anger, now into despair. I just can't see how people who do empathic reflection for a living can be so mean to each other. From the very first staff meeting, you learn that the only way to get what you want is to fight for it. I've learned to dread Fridays.
I don't want to do it anymore. I caved, let them all have whatever they wanted. I even let them give me twenty-four hours one week. Of course, after the meeting, two of my coworkers offered to give me hours. It's pathetic that one of us has to cry to make us act humanely toward each other.
I refuse to be a part of the problem anymore. I hate it here because of what I've become, a self-serving lazy grouch among a herd of self-serving lazy grouches. I used to love it here, helping the crisis center become better than it was. I will learn to love it here again, if only for my own well-being.