Birth Cards: Chariot
Year Card: Fool
Month Card: Prince of Disks (page)
Day Card: Ten of Swords
Cards are from the Cosmic Tribe Tarot
update: some reflection based on this combination.
Okay, I think I'm starting to get the hint. So much change, even in the face of pain. Probably more accurate to say change due to pain. Let's look at each card . . .
Chariot - All about self control and confidence, pride and ego. Can represent masks we present to the world. Can also be indicative of loss of control due to ego or loss of attention (can't remember where I got this interpretation from; Piers Anthony maybe?) Am I destined to continuously lose everything I have due to inattentiveness? Don't think so. I think this means that I need to reassess the masks I offer to the world: I once wore a mask of complete competence and was an arrogant little prick. That one shattered, and I replaced it with one of a broken soul who yearns for the competence that he can never have. Both are grossly inaccurate and damaging. It is time to pick of the reigns of the chariot again, let myself be comfortable with my competence, AND with my weakness. I not either, I am both.
Tower - Sudden, painful change. To quote Eric Ganther (who wrote the text for the CTT)
Whose truth are you living-yours or someone else's? Towering institutions that once determined your values crumble . . .It's time to wake up.
Fool - Going by instinct, letting life take you where it will. I seem to be clutching a lot lately, and this card seems to suggest that this is the year to let go. Or maybe I'll be perceived as naive and be taken advantage of (if you're interested in taking advantage of me sexually, please email!!!). This card seems to be at odds with Chariot. So I don't have total control, a river rafter doesn't either. I can't control my boat in the middle of the chaotic river.
Page of Disks - Learning new things. From CTT, it is about using your body to find joy. Examined in context, this may be the time to really start a new physical fitness regimen.
Ten of Swords - I'm pretty sure that someone told me once that this is one of the saddest cards in tarot, the one that really means death (because Death means big change) or physical illness. the CTT keyword is delusion, and talks about stripping away illusion, sometimes in a painful way. Mary Greer says it is about letting go. I'm seeing a pattern, even if it does have to jump up and bite me.
Synthesis - I don't really want to closely reread everything I've read yet, as I want to let it percolate for a little bit (probably while I sleep), but I do want wrap my mind around it a little bit. The cards seem to suggest that my life is characterized by a balance between success and a reexamination and improvement process. They are also suggesting that I am at a time when I am best served by going with the flow and by finding joy in my body (will not think about Cora Enman right now). It's time to start telling myself the truth and I guess this post is part of that.
afterthought - I kind of like the YLS, but it seems to have a strong note of self-fulfilling prophecy attached. I see that my day card is about confronting delusion, and here I am writing a super-long examination of the cards. I'm going to keep it up, for a while anyway. I can always decide to change the process later.