It's the rare occasion that I don't know what to think or how to feel.
I feel empty, and somehow still. But, underneath, there is tension, like if I dare pick at it, the see into the center of it, it will be unleashed, and will never be contained again.
If I dare scream, I won't be able to stop.
I want to record this. After awhile, I will start to analyze, and rationalize, and will make sense of this. And in doing so, I will discover nothing but will convince myself that I have.
I watch the actors in the movie, and like Laura Linney said in an interview, I do see myself in so many characters. This doesn't make me feel better. To feel this lost is so close to despair that I don't want to stay here any longer.
I'm calling the SARK inspiration line to shake this feeling. I can't deal with it now.
Yeah, Redbook is really hilarious. If you read it at all, the April issue (Celine Dion is on the cover) has an article on my friend Stephanie (page 86).
So I bought it for the Steph article, but find myself reading the whole thing. What a CROCK! Here's a tip from them to get along with a coworker (page 76) Share a weakness: If you're dealing with someone who seems resistant for no reason, she may feel threatened by you. Reveal something less-than-wonderful about yourself so your listener knows you're not perfect. She'll feel better about herself and about you.
I repeat, WHAT A CROCK. The second you share your weakness, bitchy co-worker uses it against you every way she/he can. This is personal experience talking. She/he may be nicer to your face, to try to put you off the scent of their plot to destroy you in Melrose Place-esque fashion.
The same article gives a decent definition of cognitive dissonance, but then applies it in a bogus manner. Oi vey
