June 8th, 2002

hedwig (by radiocure)

Experiencing the divine

Just got back from Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Lots of thoughts . . .

. . . about the movie
Phenomanal, one of the best I have seen in a long time. Can't remember the last time I enjoyed a movie this much. Probably Mulholland Drive or Monster's Inc.. Nice amount of cry factor, didn't have to sob, but it allowed one to be emotional. Definitely want to read the book now.

. . . about my mother
Sometimes I worry about the distance between my mother and I, as I can't seem to come up with a reason for it. Nothing as cut and dry as this fictionalized relationship. I need to call her. We had a good conversation a few months ago (I was still at Western), where I thought we would start to heal. So far, nothing. Time for me to invest a little more, I guess.

. . . about friendships
What bothers me most about the movie is that I don't think I have the capacity to be that kind of friend. As we were leaving the theater, Chrissy made a comment about how that would be her friends in fifty years, and all I could think of was that will never happen for me. I've tried to be closer to friends, and all that happens is the friendship burns out, like I used up all the fuel for our relationship too quickly. It brings to mind Song and Dance, during Take That Look Off Your Face, where Emma says "When we started to plan the future and all, Joe started to pull away." But I'm the one pulling away. There was a forwarded email once about lessons you learn in life. One of them was just because someone doesn't love you the way that you want them too, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have. I'm wondering if that could apply to myself. But how fucked up is it that I'm having a problem with my own level of committment! Maybe I do need a therapist.
  • Current Music
    Song and Dance OBC