April 12th, 2004

hedwig (by radiocure)

family: The merits of relative success (some pun intended)

Easter, a time for reflection on what Jesus's sacrifice means for me as a non-christian (just about nothing other than the fact that I couldn't order Hunan House last night), a time for examining my successes within the context of my family of origin.

Sometimes it hard not to feel like a slacker when I look at other people, those that carry 18 credit hours, work full time, maintain significant relationships, and volunteer to "give back to those in need". I'm not one to point a finger at my family, and I'm usually irritated by clients who try to put all their problems on another's shoulders, but I find this kind of interesting.

Some observations about my family
-I'm the only person not on antidepressants (or going against doctor's recommendations by NOT being on them).
-I've never had a chronic drug habit (I've used pot maybe five times in my life) (I don't think Mom has either, but she's kind of secretive about things like that)
-I've never been hospitalized for depression, or sent someone to a hospital due to a fit of rage.(no Mom on this one, either)
-I've never been arrested (once again, no mom)

Am I allowed to look at NOT engaging in these behaviors as successes? I am giving myself permission to do so, provided I don't wallow in it. After all . . .

-While I've never used drugs, I'm the only family member with a major weight problem.
-While I have the highest level of educational attainment, I'm the lowest paid (maybe the second lowest paid). This is just temporary (knock on wood), I hope.

I want to think more about this. It was an eye-opening weekend, and I needed to have my eyes opened.
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