June 1st, 2004

hedwig (by radiocure)

omt: Thank you, Moon

So, laying in bed, thinking about my day card (page of swords) and how it suggests cutting through the fog, getting to the point.

and ending depression.

I'm laying there, thinking about this in a kind of round about way, and the moon starts to shine in my window, bright enough to "distract" me from my reflection. and then I realized that the answer had come. Go with me . . .

As a leo, I am a fire sign, and all my life, I've mentally rejected it, claiming an affinity for water. Sorry if this puts some people off, but while I don't buy into everything metaphysical, I do believe some things.

I see said the blind man, as he started to hammer with the saw. Examining my actions, the assets of my personality, the things that I believe I do well, and I can relate them to fire like actions. I like to get people excited about things that I like or believe-I want to set them on fire. Things don't work out for me with people unless I'm willing to confront them when they upset me. Rather than slowly wearing it away, water, I need to burn the blockage and use the ash as fertilizer for a better relationship. My anger is not always a bad thing. But like anything allowed to grow unchecked, my fear of it, or my desire to be more like a water sign, sometimes causes me to lose control of my burn.

I'm sorry this is so scattered. This has the potential to be life changing for me. As the moonlight was touching me, I realized that it was another form of fire, 7% of the sun's rays that hit the moon were hitting me, transforming me with their fire.

So what does this mean? Since I seem to find joy in my fire tendencies, I'm going to embrace them, and see where it takes me. I respect water for it's power, and will always love it. But my love for it may be hurting me. I will love my fire, and in turn love myself. Wow, that's melodramatic, even for Leo, fire sign me.

I think I'm going back to bed.
  • Current Mood
    excited out of my mind?