It is NEVER a good idea to give our number to your personality disorder clients because you don't want to deal with their manipulative bullshit appropriately. I am sick of being your whipping boy bitch, forced to listen to your clients whine about you, their life, everything. We don't deserve this shit.
I guess it's time to make another noncommital response.
Dearest coworkers (because I'm getting a little crabby),
Believe it or not, I CAN tell the difference between PopSecret Homestyle microwave popcorn (made with real Land O'Lakes butter), and Act II Butter Lover's microwave popcorn. Obviously, one of you does not believe that I am capable of making this distinction, since you ate my last bag of PopSecret Homestyle microwave popcorn (made with real Land O'Lakes butter), and put crappy popcorn in its place! Putting Act II Butter Lover's in a PopSecret Homestyle box does not change a greasy swill of a popcorn into the crisp, buttery/salty deliciousness that is PopSecret Homestyle microwave popcorn (made with real Land O'Lakes butter).
I buy the big box because I don't mind sharing. But, if you somehow need to appease your conscience by replacing what you eat, please don't be deluded. There is NO equivalent to PopSecret Homestyle microwave popcorn (made with real Land O'Lakes butter); it is the best microwave popcorn on the planet. I'm sure you know this, now that you have partaken of its greatness. Maybe I'm being a little paranoid, but I have a theory that you had the Act II with you when you took my last bag of popcorn. You just couldn't have the Boone's Farm when the Dom Perignon was staring you in the face.
I forgive you. We all have moments of weakness. Do it again, and I'm giving the repeat callers your home phone numbers.