April 15th, 2006

hedwig (by radiocure)

In the still of the night

A negative synchronistic experience.

Today, I had a client tell me that he struggles after dark, that he's fine until he's alone in his apartment and all of his depressed thoughts and beliefs come crashing down on him.  It's like he cursed me.

The client I had before him, I've had for some time. Today, he became quite irritated with me. I can handle a client's anger when it's for the "right" reasons, like I've pushed them to look at something that they've been afraid to touch, or I hold them accountable for their actions.  Basically, when they're angry with me, but I'm sure that my actions were the best choice in the situation.  This wasn't that kind of situation; his irritation could have been completely avoided had I been a little more aware of his growing dissatisfaction with his treatment.  In session, I accepted the fact that he had a right to be angry with me, apologized, and accepted his preferred choice of action. 

I thought I was fine with it. Now, all I can do is dwell.  I'm telling myself to focus on what I learned from this situation, the importance of getting feedback from a client after every session, but it's only helping a little bit. I guess I have to grieve this for a while. He's a nice person, I let him down, and I have to carry that for the time being. 

I feel better than I did, putting this into words.  I think I can sleep now.
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