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lj: A meme of another color

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Post anything that you want as a comment, and post it anonymously. Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

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note: I've turned off IP logging for a few days. True anonymity is yours.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 11th, 2004 09:15 pm (UTC)
I'm apathetic about most everything these days.
Jul. 11th, 2004 09:41 pm (UTC)
To her:

Talk about missed connections. Repeatedly. You've definitely got the wrong libretto for this opera, and the fat lady is singing. You are a master domme, to be sure - each moment of processing an excercize in verbal bondage, you top me with your tongue, your conversational rules a ball-gag. All I wanted was to love you in whatever way seemed right. Your 'come hither', 'get thee hence' was the stuff of any good romantic tragedy. My butch bard. Self-fulfilling prophecy. You hate to be alone. You chase away love. You ask for love. You lose respect for those who give it. You want a fuck. You want affection. But never at the same time, unless you know it's over before it begins. I love you still, but there is a twinge of pity to it now. My heart is stuffed in deep where you can't touch it, where your callous, self-serving whip of a tongue can't lash it for lack of insight, foresight or thought beyond self. You'll only get pieces of me from here on. Fragments and shards of the shattered we we could have been. I'd take the road diverged from your woods completely, but some masochistic part of me thinks there's more to learn, and i'd suck the very marrow from your bones to take something away from this that renders my suffering worthwhile.
Jul. 12th, 2004 12:10 am (UTC)
I feel like I could be that person to whom the second comment is referring, although I know I am not.

I also feel like you will know who I am even though I am doing everything I can to sound anonymous.

I am that person--that person who longs for love and runs away when I find it. I hate it, and I don't know what to do to fix it. It's not because I am afraid of loving somebody. I know this. I know that it is because I'm afraid of having somebody love me more than I can handle. I don't want to be anybody's entire life. I hate it when somebody tells me, "I love you more than life itself." It's scary.

Getting this out of my system, as meaningless as it may seem to an onlooker, means a lot to me. Thank you for your invitation to anonymity.
Jul. 12th, 2004 07:17 am (UTC)
I've actually started to feel like love is just a way for people to continually have something to feel sorry for themselves about...a permanent reason to bitch. People go into relationships, fuck them up, whine about it to everybody, resolve their issues (or break up)then repeat the cycle. I feel sick to my stomach when I see people who give up who they are to make "love work".

Love forces you to rearrange your life around someone else, live by someone else's schedule, adjust your life to accomodate someone else etc etc etc.

I like being single. I don't know if I'll want to be in a relationship ever again.

That's probably selfish, but I honestly don't care.
Jul. 12th, 2004 04:29 pm (UTC)
couldn't have worded this better. nicely done!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )