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omt: magically delicious

I love reading Augusten Burroughs; by sharing in some of the bad traits of a best selling novelist, I feel like less of a monster. Of course, he has the whole "I was sent to live with my mother's psychiatrist in a cult-like environment and then became a raging alcoholic" excuse to explain his TV worship, viciousness, lack of domestic prowess, and level of self interest. My upbringing wasn't as interesting by a third, so I don't know how I ended up this way.

I just finished Magical Thinking, and part of me is pissed. He's fallen in love, and is in a healthy relationship. In fact, he was in this relationship while writing Running With Scissors. He's abandoned me on the island of the (barely) functional mentally ill, and has made a new home in Domestic Bliss, population lots. I could accept this, if it didn't involve finding the perfect man.

I know that I'm not the relationship type. I've known this since my Sophomore year of high school, when Nanje Osbourne described how her bed had a perfect indentation of her body in it. Nanje Osbourne- the perfect half of a perfect relationship, already making room in her bed for the perfect partner. I, who require several pillows, toss and turn like I'm sleeping in the dice dome of the Trouble game being played by a group of kids with ADHD, am not relationship material. It would be nice to have someone to send to the grocery store, but they would probably want to watch reality tv or NBC soaps on my television, and I just can't have that in my life.

No offense to people like my father who have to be in a relationship to feel validated, but it is my greatest fear that I'll end up like you. I'd like to imagine that prince charming is coming, a man who would interest me, help me become a deeper person, put up with my occasional habit of bullying those around me, and let me have some breathing room, but I just don't have that much faith in humanity, or in men at least.

Until then, I'll muddle through, and try not to hate Mr. Burroughs for finally getting his life together.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 16th, 2004 07:47 pm (UTC)
There's no more dysfunction in 'Magical Thinking'?!

I need to read it. When did it come out? I must not have been paying attention.

I'm reading 'Stiff' right now. So far, it's very interesting and not at all what I expected it to be.
Oct. 16th, 2004 08:11 pm (UTC)
there's still dysfunction, just less of it.

Is Stiff good? I've wanted to read it ever since Six Feet Under featured it.
Oct. 16th, 2004 08:15 pm (UTC)
I just started it today, so I haven't gotten far enough along to form an opinion about it, but so far so good!
Oct. 17th, 2004 12:19 am (UTC)
Oh No. Don't hate the Burroughs
Augusten just wrote me an email. I just thanked him and congratulated him on his current success. He's a great example of hope, for someone like me at least. And funny as a ...anything.

And I'm never this damn positive.
Oct. 17th, 2004 02:42 am (UTC)
Re: Oh No. Don't hate the Burroughs
I couldn't really hate him, at least not forever! Like he writes in MT, people with flaws are more likable, and while he doesn't appear flawless by any stretch, his being less flawed than before is briefly irritating.

It's awesome that he wrote you. I never thank famous people for touching my life. I probably should.
Oct. 17th, 2004 01:54 pm (UTC)
A good comment

I say why do we strieve to feel we have to be with someone to be happy? I think that sometimes we work to hard trying to be happy and find a perfect mate that we forget about what is really important, friends, family and inner happiness. I say fock it, be happy with yourself, surrond yourself with quality friends and be love thy self.

"Its not findig the perfect man, but to find the un perfect man, and loving everything that is unperfect about him"
Oct. 17th, 2004 10:00 pm (UTC)
what does "relationship person" mean? i think we are all relationship people. by human nature we are social creatures wanting to be in the company of others and seeking intimacy. where and how we find that differs from person to person. having to always be in a relationship to feel validated isn't a relationship it's a sad attempt at trying to get over our own insecurities in ourselves. if you meet someone you want to be in a relationship with you can make that choice. it just take communication and work. i think a real relationship is a comfortable balance between two people of intimacy and independence.
on another note. i miss you stewart!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )