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Roll Credits . . .

It's the rare occasion that I don't know what to think or how to feel.

I feel empty, and somehow still. But, underneath, there is tension, like if I dare pick at it, the see into the center of it, it will be unleashed, and will never be contained again.

If I dare scream, I won't be able to stop.

I want to record this. After awhile, I will start to analyze, and rationalize, and will make sense of this. And in doing so, I will discover nothing but will convince myself that I have.

I watch the actors in the movie, and like Laura Linney said in an interview, I do see myself in so many characters. This doesn't make me feel better. To feel this lost is so close to despair that I don't want to stay here any longer.

I'm calling the SARK inspiration line to shake this feeling. I can't deal with it now.