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Work is not going well. I feel like every time my boss looks at me, she's thinking "dead weight, dead weight". I'm torn; part of me wants to jump on the self-promotion bandwagon started by my new coworker and parade myself for an ego stroke every time I do something, part of me wants to not play into this, as I don't want to give my boss the idea that I'm going to bark every time she gets this look on her face.

I don't know. I hope this blows over. I really can't afford to be a contractual employee, it's too stressful, and I don't want to lose my health insurance.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
mojomuze
Nov. 9th, 2005 01:07 am (UTC)
Stewart, you could never be dead weight. Ever.
fairiegodmother
Nov. 9th, 2005 06:54 am (UTC)
limiting thoughts, unlimited possibilities
I don't want to give my boss the idea that I'm going to bark every time she gets this look on her face.

I don't know. I hope this blows over. I really can't afford to be a contractual employee, it's too stressful, and I don't want to lose my health insurance.


Oh dear heart. This is scary stuff, isn't it? I'm sorry you're having to deal with such buffoonery in your workplace.

Your friendly Fairie Godmother wants to remind you that, sucky as it is, NOW may be a very good time to think about what you DO want. That's the alternative to focusing on what you don't want, can't afford, or fear.

In my experience, navigating by fear usually results in people attracting or approaching the very things they dread. As their focus on the negative possibilities grow, their ability to perceive positive outcomes diminishes, and the feared thing gains power. As a navigational tool, fear absolutely sucks. It's so error-prone that it is only useful as a predictor of failure.

If fear were software, no company but Microsoft would think of releasing it to the general public.

Turn over the coin-no matter which face you prefer, the currency has the same value. One side may appeal more to you than another, but the power is equal.

So look at the face that pleases you, the one that appeals to your essential nature, and ask "What do I want in a job? What can I afford to do? What if I didn't feel limited by fear about not having enough money, or fear about losing my health insurance?

What job description and circumstances would I reach for then?

Please consider reaching for it with confidence. I believe you can be happy, healthy, well-paid, and satisfied with your work at the end of the day. There's no better time than now to explore that possibility for yourself.

Fairie G
bugandwaterguy
Nov. 13th, 2005 01:49 am (UTC)
On another day, a posting like this would get me into a rant on the need for state-run health care in this country, but not today.
fairiegodmother
Nov. 13th, 2005 04:16 pm (UTC)
ah yes
There is one state that has state run health care that works. It's not quite in this country, which is why this country does such a darned good job of ignoring it. The state? Hawaii.

Fairie G
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )