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Same script, different cast

I usually like when movies portray a moment realistically, when they mirror an experience I've had. Tonight, I lived a scene I've seen in films, and I didn't like it all.

It happens a lot in friend films, a scene that takes place late in the show, where you get the feeling that two people have grown apart, that for whatever reason, they will never have the same intimacy they once shared. The end of Threesome comes to mind, so does the beginning of Merrily We Roll Along, "We're not that kind of close anymore, Mary. Now we're just one and one and one."

Talking with one of my college roommates tonight, I felt like I was listening to a new client. Yeah, we had some rapport and I felt some affection, but it wasn't on a personal level. He's become a stranger, and it is really hurting me. What have I done? Have I changed? Has he? Can I fix this?

On some level, I know I have to let friendships change, or they will die, but I feel like I'm losing this one no matter what I do. I have done this countless times before, let a relationship atrophy until it cannot be saved, but I never thought I would lose this one. I was sure he would be one of the ones I couldn't shake; I expected to be a godparent to one of his children, or at least be invited to their wedding.

Okay, Stewart, what are you prepared to do? Work at it, or cry over it? It's a put up or shut up situation, and you probably won't get another chance to fix this. He deserves more, you deserve more.

I guess I'm done talking in cliches, I need to sleep on this and figure out what I want to do.


Nov. 18th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC)
Do you seemingly have little-to-no trouble finding time to talk to some people while others you don't have enough time for?

With Jared, I'm not even sure he even knows how he feels. He does obviously have time. He just chooses to spend it with people other than myself. I know that sounds jealous, which it probably is to some degree, but it's more of an observation that even he isn't aware of.

If you seem to "have time" for some people, but not others, maybe you are just holding out hope for a friendship that your subconscious is telling you has already ended. You've, perhaps, moved in different directions in life...