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I drank tonight. i really drank tonight.

Scotty leaves the end of the week for North Dakota (if I type with one eye closed, I can catch my typos), so I decided to drink with him, even though he didn't ask it of me.  It started with a few sips of beer at summerfest. Then I decided that when we went to the Bird I would say goodbye to Jeremiah Weed, the dirty whore, with a double of him and coke.  Then I had another double Weed, because the first one wasn't as powerful as I remembered. Then I finished a pitcher of Bud Light, which I hate, and then went to Marty's for 2 seven and sevens, and you know Marty's only serves doubles.  All in all, I figure I had the equivalent of 14 drinks tonight.  14.

And I don't feel guilty. Well, I do, but I also feel really good.  I forgot how good alcohol made me feel, and it makes me think that I never had a problem with it.  I stopped drinking for my clients, is that a valid reason? 

It should be enough. I can do without alcohol. It should have been a sign when I saw a client, the beautiful, very straight with amazing girlfriend client at both bars. And yet I pressed on. I also got to meet my nemesis, the sales rep for Charter that I have been fighting with for months. I hope I didn't come off as a complete lush. He said that I sounded much older on the phone, I hope I didn't lose any advantage I had with him.  He has the prettiest green eyes.

Well, I'll process when I'm sober.  My sleeping pill is kicking in, so I need to get strapped in to the CPAP. Goodnight. 

I am such a fuckup.

Comments

fairiegodmother
Jun. 25th, 2006 11:18 am (UTC)
Re: such a what?
Speaking of falling off wagons. My son, the bartender at this town's only gay bar, quite literally fell off the bar's Gay Pride float this year. In the middle of the Gay Pride parade. The person who told me this story said that they were all quite hammered.

He always did know how to make an entrance.