Lame, but accurate, fortunes

my fortune cookie from lunch - "Absence - Makes the heart grow fonder, and the paycheck go lighter"

Lame

But then, as I'm driving away from the restaurant, I find myself rocking out to Shania Twain's "That don't impress me much," a song I hated forever because of overplaying.

Stupid fortune cookie, making its point through Shania.

All I have to say now is I EAT TOFU TUNA, BRAD!