My first reaction was empty, and then guilt because I didn't feel anything. Do I dislike this woman that much? Then I called her hospital room, at which point I fell apart, the shock giving way to the thought that I may have lost my mother last night.
I may have lost my mother last night, and I don't feel any major regrets. No bouts of I should have said this, or done that, ad nauseum.
I'm so confused. Five minutes ago I was sobbing/shrieking. Then I was angry. Now my head hurts. Why am I this fucked up?