Dr. Hapgood, your cruise director (hapgood) wrote,
Dr. Hapgood, your cruise director
hapgood

  • Mood:

Warring emotions

Saunder just called me. My mother had a heart attack last night. A mild one, they're releasing her on friday.

My first reaction was empty, and then guilt because I didn't feel anything. Do I dislike this woman that much? Then I called her hospital room, at which point I fell apart, the shock giving way to the thought that I may have lost my mother last night.

I may have lost my mother last night, and I don't feel any major regrets. No bouts of I should have said this, or done that, ad nauseum.

I'm so confused. Five minutes ago I was sobbing/shrieking. Then I was angry. Now my head hurts. Why am I this fucked up?
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 7 comments