Dr. Hapgood, your cruise director (hapgood) wrote,
Dr. Hapgood, your cruise director
hapgood

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Bennigan's---The Next Generation

So anyone who's ever been to Bennigan's probably knows the birthday song by heart.
After all, they sing it like eight times a night.

I think B's should be more responsive to those special life moments that college students face. To that extent, I am in the process of writing new songs for them to sing. To make it easier on the waitstaff, I have retained the meter of the birthday song. Here is the first song

Uh oh, where's the flow (to the rhythm of the Bennigan's birthday song)

You think you may be pregnant
Your Great Aunt Flo is late
You wouldn't have this problem
If you chose to masturbate

While you're at the doctor
Have an extra test or two
Who knows, he may have given
An STD to you

Slainte

Now it is your turn! Make a new Bennigan's song. If you need a topic, try one of these

Coming out to your parents
Failing your midterms
First MIP
Academic Probation
Got caught cheating on your BF/GF
Hate your roommates
STD
Joining a Cult/Fraternity/Sorority

Who knows, I may take the songs and make a book to give to Bennigan's.

Probably not

love, stewart
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